Every week Dawn Brierley and I will be sharing with your our experiences with reading Robert Holden’s new book Loveability. Join us in a loving communion of spiritual unfolding and endless amounts of love.
Dawn : Fearless Romance
It’s no secret to my readers that during our Loveability journey I have shown up for love in a major way, and I embraced Love and Romance into my life, so reading part 4 was like the “congratulations” chat with a friend for me. Reading about all the fears that many of us take into our relationships, and the fear we allow to rule the show was like watching a movie of my all my past relationships.
I found that I can actually say that in my relationship, I don’t have any fears ruling my show. That’s a pretty awesome thing to say, and believe me, at first I was shocked, but I simply have love for myself, a respect and an acceptance that runs deep within me now, that I don’t need my Mr H.P to make me feel beautiful or loved. I know that I am divinely beautiful, I know that I am lovable and I do love me. Which is reflected back to me in my relationship – my mirror by the way that Mr H.P loves me.
A huge development, is that this week my Mr H.P said those three magical words – “I love You” to me, which I feel, believe and reciprocate towards him too. He doesn’t need me to survive and I don’t need him. But we choose to be together, to extend the love and miracles towards each other and we have a damn great time when we’re together.
Robert Holden says;
To get to love you have to start with love.
To have real love in your life, let’s take the romance context for example, in order to have a lover in your life you have to give love first. I’ve found this to mean in my experience that you have to love who you truly are, wrinkles, saggy bits, laughter lines, dimples and cellulite included. You have to love on yourself so much that there is no room for doubt about how lovable you are. No one can truly love you when you don’t love yourself, well they can love you, and they will. But you will have a real hard time of believing them, feeling the love, and allowing that love to embrace you. In my opinion that’s no fun, so don’t close yourself off from love.
Robert teaches you that when you are not experiencing a smooth sailing in your relationship you should ask yourself the following;
- What am I not being?
- What am I not giving?
- What am I not hearing?
- What am I not saying?
- What am I not doing?
When you think something is missing in a relationship, it is probably you.
For the first time ever, I can say that I have no fears in my romance, I’m worried that he doesn’t love me, or that it won’t work, or that he’ll hurt me etc. I have a Fearless Romance. 😀
Robert quoted in Loveability; “If it hurts, It’s not Love.” Love doesn’t hurt, and this relationship doesn’t hurt. We have a genuine appreciation of each other, a togetherness of differences and similarities, an indescribable LOVE, simply because we are so focused on BEING rather than DOING or TRYING. Love simply is!
I want to leave you with a question Robert was asked once;
“If you could teach your children only one lesson about love, what would it be?”
George: Love with no expectations
Part VI of Loveability was painful. Every page I turned exposed yet another mistake I had made in love and relationships so that by the end of each chapter I literally felt like a war victim. As a result, I ended up feeling incredibly guilty and resentful towards myself, and my obsessive need for perfection wasn’t making it easy to forgive myself and let the past go. Fortunately, I knew that all that negativity I was feeling was accompanied by a great deal of asking, and all that I had to do to receive the answer was surrender.
“Love doesn’t have an agenda, because an attitude of love is really based on being rather than on getting and receiving. In other words, love helps you to be what you want to give and receive.”
Wait! Are you telling me that I should be able to love someone without expecting anything back? Does this imply that true love comes with no expectations? Shockingly, that’s what that quote meant and I just could not understand it, let alone accept it. What’s the point of loving someone when you don’t expect him/her to reciprocate? The idea of doing that felt impossible and illogical, but something in the back of my mind told me that it was true indeed, leading to hours of grueling thinking that only worsened my frustration. Since my mental capacity had failed me over and over again I decided to turn to God for guidance. I hit my knees and prayed for clarity and then sat in meditation for an hour, determined to stay there until I had a satisfying answer. Thankfully, the answer came and it was powerful indeed:
“When you give love freely, you feel the love you give and you feel loveable no matter what the return.”
Isn’t this just wonderful? In other words, when you love someone without expectations you are being love. When you are love you can’t really need love because you already are it. Does this insinuate that you have to be the only one loving in a relationship? Of course not, because only when you become love can you attract love. You get what you give, always. Therefore, you get what you are, and if you are love then you must receive it. It only goes wrong when you give love to get love, because getting implies needing, and needing something is the same thing as saying “I need it because I don’t have it.” From this respect, when you are giving to get you are not an emotional match to the emotion of love, therefore you aren’t really giving love in the first place. You are simply co-dependent on the other person to make you feel loveable.
When this understanding finally set it I knew that I had reached a whole new level of enlightenment as well as a quest to experiencing love with no expectations. Giving myself an oracle card reading the following morning I received the following card, assuring me that I was safe, guided and protected:
Dawn Brierley believes in miracles and expects miracles, and is a Life Coach and CEO of Celestial Life Coaching which promotes the message of “Raise Your Standards and Make the Decision to Change your Life” whilst working with a metaphysical energy. She is an avid student of A Course in Miracles, loves Meditative Chanting, has become a lover of Yoga. She loves all books and believes in Universal Spirituality with her main practices being from Kabbalah, and Hinduism. She has just launched her Miracle Coaching Tree basic package for $60.