It all started innocently enough. It was an extended-family dinner on Boxing Day, and my aunt was very interested in finding out more about my spiritual beliefs.

Having taken significant time to shield myself with all my advanced psychic protection processes before the gathering, and being comfortable with speaking about my beliefs publically, I indulged in her questions.

It all went according to plan. Until it didn’t…

We had an intense yet fun and constructive conversation about spirituality, religion, and what’s important. I enjoyed it, and progressively more and more family members joined it to share their opinions.

Eventually, the conversation naturally unfolded to what I do for a living: psychic readings, past-life regressions, spiritual mentoring.

That’s when it all went downhill…

“Could you give me a reading?” My aunt asked.

“Although I’d love to help, I choose not to give readings to family and friends. It’s not ethical, and I also can’t be 100% objective.” I responded with my well-rehearsed explanation.

“What do you mean?” she continued.

“Well, if I were to give you a reading we’d mess up the boundaries between aunt/nephew, reader/client. I’d know things about you, you probably wouldn’t want me to know. I like to keep work and family as two separate things.” I said proudly, happy to see my years of assertiveness training paying off.

Usually, when I explain this to people they get it, and that’s the end of the conversation. That wasn’t the case with my Big-Fat-Greek-Wedding style family.

Long story short, my aunt kept pushing for a reading, joined by my other aunt who wanted me to heal her back from what she was convinced was a psychic dagger, interjected by my cousin who wanted relationship advice.

It all escalated with me feeling attacked, being overwhelmed, and having to raise my voice and assert myself quite strongly. It worked. They shut up. I left.

On my car journey back home, while being pleased with the way I handled the situation under the circumstances, I couldn’t keep but wonder what had gone wrong.

I’d psychically protected myself, I’d communicated my boundaries assertively, and yet, there I was having my energy drained and being pulled from so many different directions.

Clearly, I’d got something wrong!

Setting Healthy Boundaries

While psychic protection and communication tactics are vital tools for empaths and lightworkers, there are also non-spiritual steps we must take, and non-negotiable rules we should have, to prevent us from finding ourselves in such situations in the first place.

I call these the Empathy Rules – tactical steps and commitments every empath should have to protect their energy.

These rules will be different for each person, depending on various factors such as level of sensitivity, being in or out of the spiritual closet, stage of spiritual growth, etc.

Photo credit: Kyle Glenn

Here are mine:

George’s Empathy Rules

• No readings or coaching to friends or family
• Not opening up about my spiritual beliefs to a group of Muggles, but OK to open up one-on-one if I feel comfortable
• Removing myself from social gatherings where I don’t feel comfortable in. No explanations needed. Simply, get up and leave.
• Limit social gatherings to a minimum – I’m happy with my current friends and don’t need to make new ones or have meaningless chit-chats with random people.

Now, I’m quite cutthroat with my rules but you don’t need to be the same.

Go within and think about your own preferences, sensitivities, and socialising threshold. Then, take the time to write your empathy rules in your journal, or somewhere you can see them on a regular basis.

Finally, stick to them. It’s easy to slip, I know. When someone asks for our help it’s hard to say no. But, it’s always worth doing so if saying no to someone else means saying yes to you. Remember, you are a someone, too.

More Tools for Empaths

Download my Lightworker Survival Guide to learn how to overcome the top 5 blocks that prevent you from following your life purpose.

Watch my Advanced Psychic Protection workshop to learn powerful tools to protect your energy.

Watch this YouTube video to learn how to prevent psychic attack using essential oils.

Learn an easy process to control your empathic abilities.

What are your Empathy Rules? Share them in the comments below to make them real.