In this insightful episode, Janet W Hardy joins me to explore the world of BDSM topping through the wisdom of The New Topping Book. We dive into what it really means to take the lead in a scene — from the mindset shifts that help new tops build confidence, to the balance of power and care that makes BDSM both safe and deeply pleasurable. Janet shares practical tools for communicating clearly without killing the mood, navigating nerves or insecurities, and embracing topping as a creative, collaborative craft rather than a performance you need to “get right.”

We also talk about the emotional and psychological layers of topping, including how to show up with presence, stay attuned to your partner, and understand the deeper dynamics behind intense or advanced forms of play. Janet explains the ethical responsibilities of a top, why aftercare matters for both partners, and how community, mentorship, and ongoing education can help tops grow their skills with intention. Whether you’re new to topping or ready to deepen your practice, this conversation offers a grounded, thoughtful guide to leading scenes with confidence, clarity, and heart.

Here’s a glimpse of what you’ll learn in this episode:

• What it really means to be a BDSM top and how to step into the role with confidence.
• How to communicate desires, limits, and boundaries clearly without breaking the mood.
• Ways to balance power and care to create scenes that feel safe, intentional, and pleasurable.
• How to navigate nerves, insecurities, and the emotional responsibility of leading a scene.
• Practical tools to deepen trust, presence, and connection before, during, and after play.

Click here to listen to the episode and learn more about BDSM, especially for Tops.

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