Codependency is by far my favourite thing to talk and teach about. In fact, ask any of my friends to tell you the phrase I use most and they’ll unanimously say, “OMG this is so codependent!”
The reason I think codependency is such an important topic to have conversations around, is because we’ve all been codependent on something at some point in our lives. But, before we dive deeper into how we’ve done so and what we can do to overcome codependency, let’s define our terms:
Codependency = An excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, although the definition can be extended to include other relationships, drugs, substances, alcohol, caffeine, habits, places, and material possessions.
Usually, when people think of codependency they think of substance or relationship addictions, that’s why I think it’s so important to expand the term to include everything else we may be dependent on. From my perspective, being codependent isn’t solely about serious addictions but about the act of looking for happiness outside of ourselves.
Expressions commonly used by codependent people are, “I need to have this…” or “I can’t live without…”, and the object of these could be a relationship, alcohol, and cigarettes, but it could also be coffee, Netflix, an iPhone, book, spiritual teacher, friend, trip, favourite piece of clothing, anything!
When you expand the definition of codependency to include all these things, and more, then you realise how prevalent it is in our society. You really get to see how we’re using factors external to ourselves to find the happiness that already lives within us, but we’ve forgotten how to access.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying all of the above in a balanced way, and as long as you’re not dependent on them for happiness. But when you catch yourself “needing” or “not being able to live without” something, then chances are you’re codependent.
In this regard, the way to heal codependency is simple. You just need to learn how to find ALL the happiness you need within you, so you’re not dependent on anyone or anything for it. This is of course, easier said than done.
But, I’ve got you covered!
Watch this video to learn my number ONE tool to overcoming codependency:
When you’re done watching make sure to leave me a comment and let me know what you think.