For many years, my spiritual journey consisted of me being locked up in my room reading one spiritual book after the other. Each book that I read, and every spiritual modality that I practiced equipped me with the tools that I needed to fulfil a promise that I made to myself right after my failed suicide attempt: To learn how to love me and accept me for who I was, no matter what other people thought of me.
If I hadn’t made that promise my life would have turned out very differently. I would probably still be in the closet, monitoring my words and actions in an attempt to hide my sexuality and be the stereotype that society wanted me to be; I would be completely disconnected from my intuition and be on a futile quest to discover the perfect formula for success; and I would pretend, like everyone else, that the bleak, mediocre life that I was living fulfilled me.
A pretty depressing picture, isn’t it?
Unfortunately, many people identify with this scenario. You see, whereas we were born blissful, trusting, knowing little babies who knew their self-worth, and were attuned with their intuition and life purpose, we eventually dissipated from our loveliness and got indoctrinated into a world of judgment. We learned to put ourselves into boxes of good or bad, right or wrong, beautiful or ugly, and we entered a futile competition of becoming the stereotypical idols that supposedly hold the key to our happiness.
And so we became helpless. We went from knowing to doubting, from trusting to fearing, from empowerment to victimization, and we transformed into these grumpy, needy, adult crybabies who need everyone else to save them, but themselves. We blame our parents, teachers, the school system, the law, the government, life in general, and hold them accountable for our misery, expecting them to yield to our every need and request.
Own your Sh*t
If you relate to any of the above, let me be the one to pop your bubble and let you know that nobody will help you out of your misery, unless you are willing to help yourself. That’s because, when you own all the sh*t you’ve created in your life, you also own your ability to create something better.
When I fell on my knees and asked for help eight years ago, I knew that the person I was asking that help from was really myself. I made the decision to let go of what everyone else had to say about me, and become the sole creator of my life experience. In doing so, I knew that I would have to own up to everything that I had been through. I had to accept that I was bullied only because I bullied myself, and that I wasn’t accepted only because I didn’t accept myself.
When I did so, something magical happened.
By helping myself own my creative abilities to turn my life around, I opened myself up to receiving external help too. You see, when you show up for yourself, God will show up for you too. Your life is a mirror, and so your self-help has to be mirrored with external-help. And then, rather than being needy for help, you get to experience the co-creative way through which true help is created.
What is the number one negative situation in your life that you cannot take ownership of? Are you willing to see how you may have manifested it? Why, or why not? Let me know in the comments below.
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