Manifesting a romantic relationship is tricky business. This is not because the laws of manifestation don’t apply to our romantic life, but rather because romance is the subject where our biggest fears and insecurities come up. Whereas we can easily be objective about, and follow step-by-step processes when manifesting a new career, car, or our next adventure, manifesting our next life partner comes with a lot more baggage.

The level of intimacy and vulnerability required for a romantic relationship to develop inevitably brings up unexpressed fears and false beliefs around our self-love and worthiness, which mess up the manifestation process.

The following 3 steps are designed to leverage on the timeless laws of manifestation, while taking into consideration such complications and giving room to their resolving:

1. List The Qualities Your Want: Most relationship gurus will tell you to scrap lists and just be willing to be vulnerable when going out on a date. But unless you’re crystal clear about what you want (and what you don’t want!) in a partner, you’ll be unable to catch red flags, that may seem enticing in the moment but you know won’t work in the long term. So, get out your notepad and create an exhaustive list of all the physical and personality characteristics you’d want in your ideal mate. Doing so lets the universe know what you want so that it brings you people you can have a healthy, long-term relationship with.
2. Take Action: You’ve heard this a thousand times, but this time you’ll hear it a little differently: You have to put yourself out there! I used to hate when people told me to do so, as I always associated putting myself out there with drinking and clubbing. Yet there are countless ways to put yourself out there that resonate with sensitive people like you and me. You can go to dinner with friends, take a new class, go for a walk at the beach, or sign yourself up to a dating app. Simply, find a medium that works for you and commit to it in a conscious and consistent way. Doing it once or twice isn’t enough; you have to create a consistent flow of energy towards your desire, so that the universe can match it up with consistent, real-life opportunities.
3. Surrender: This is the most important step to the process. Neediness is never an attract-ive quality. When you are being needy for a relationship you unconsciously tell the universe that you don’t trust it to bring you your desire. It’s incredibly easy to become needy and obsessed about manifesting a romantic relationship when you only follow the first two steps of this process, hence it is of vital importance that you actively surrender both your ideal-partner list and your taking action, to Spirit. Your manifestation effort has to strike a balance between clarity, taking action and surrendering. The rule of thumb to finding this balance is to take action for as long as it feels good, and surrender as soon as your action feels needy or obsessive.

Finally, each of the above steps will inevitably bring up issues that you need to work with yourself before you’re ready to manifest a healthy, romantic relationship. Listing the qualities your want in your ideal mate may make you question whether you embody them yourself, getting yourself out there may require you to combat your shyness, and difficulty to surrender may bring up your overly controlling personality.

Concurrently, when issues come up give yourself the time she needs to understand them, resolve them, and recover. The effectiveness of this process lies in your capability and courage to face these issues head on, to gradually ready yourself for a successful relationship.