I love failing. As much far-fetched as this statement sounds, it has come to be a treasured understanding; not because I am a masochist or a drama queen, but simply because loving what brings you fear is the only way to heal and release it.

Ponder for a minute, on the emotions induced within you following any form of failure. You feel depressed and unworthy, your stomach tightens, your hands get numb, you whole being and energy shrinks. Failure brings our biggest fear into full-blown manifestation, the basic fear that lies at the heart of every negative emotion – The fear that “I am not loveable.” When we fail at anything, our fear of being unloveable stops being just a fear, it manifests into an experience. What used to be a miniscule, doubtful voice in the back of our head, now takes over our mind, body and spirit, it belittles us, takes away our power, our hopes, and our dreams.

And we grieve.

Following this honest and very human journey of grieving, there finally comes a point when the tears dry out, and our soul is thirsty for a glimpse of light to get us out of misery. For a long time I felt guilty whenever I had to go through this grieving state. “I know better than this,” “Crying is not spiritual,” “I can’t afford to lower my vibration,” I kept telling myself, bullying my way out of grief. Yet, in time I came to recognize that there is nothing wrong with grieving – what matters is that we don’t stay in that emotional state indefinitely.

“When you stop judging grief, you see that grief is not bad, wrong or negative; it is simply part of the process of letting love heal,” says Robert Holden in Loveability. The aim of most spiritual modalities is to help us turn fearful illusions into loving truths, and sometimes this requires a process. Corroborating this statement is Abraham-Hicks, suggesting that moving from depression to anger or revenge, is a step towards love – there is power in anger and revenge that tramps the powerlessness of depression. In the same respect, grieving a failure is an empowering step of ridding ourselves of the powerless feelings of hurt and resentment, and moving up the emotional scale to a more positive emotion.

Some of my greatest ideas and inspiration have arisen following epic failures. “When you ask, it is given.” This powerful quote by Abraham-Hicks ties in to the understanding that, through contrast, thus, the negative emotion that follows failure, comes a desire for improvement and success pertaining to that contrast. At present, whenever I experience any form of failure I smile to myself, for out of it comes an even stronger desire and determination to be more, love more, forgive more, to rise from the ashes like a phoenix, and show the world who I really am.

This is where true self-empowerment comes from! Self-empowerment is about having the guts, the courage to be your own motivator, your own coach, your own biggest fun. It is about being real, letting yourself be human, experience your emotions fully, and then choose to see the true message behind your negative experience. This message is always the same for everyone, it comes from the depth of your heart and it screams: You were born to thrive!