Crying leads to happiness!

It sounds paradoxical, but when you approach it from the right perspective crying will get you on a path straight to bliss.

I’ve always been someone who urged people to cry, not because I like watching them suffer, but because I know that unless you let it out it’ll only get worse. You see, crying is not the creation of negative emotion as many people associate it with, but rather the release of negative emotion. Haven’t you wondered why you always feel better after a crying session?

Let me explain why.

The emotional scale

All emotions can be classified on a scale, ranging from negative ones like depression, disempowerment, fear and resentment on the one end, to the positive emotions of empowerment, freedom, happiness, and bliss on the other end. Whereas the jump from depression straight to happiness is possible, we usually navigate the emotional scale in a more subtle way.

In other words, your healing trajectory from depression to happiness will take you up the emotional scale one emotion at a time. Depression will turn into anger, then revenge, disappointment, and into frustration, until you eventually work yourself up into your desired positive state.

Crying is the mechanism that drives this trajectory. The reason you feel better after crying, is because you’ve completely exhausted the particular emotion that triggered the cry, and moved up the emotional scale to a more positive one. All an emotion wants is to be acknowledged, after which it loses its power completely.

Emotional cul-de-sac

The reason many people perceive crying in a negative way is because, when approached from the wrong perspective, it also has the potential of keeping you in an emotional standstill. Once you release an emotion through crying, you are faced with two choices: You can either embrace the positive emotion that has surfaced as a result, or you can go back to the old one.

Emotions are created by thoughts and beliefs. Therefore, if after crying you return back to the negative thought-pattern that created that past emotion, you will end up re-creating it. This keeps you in a vicious circle of negativity that prevents you from moving up the emotional scale.

My crying process

Before you call me a masochist, let me assure you that this process will not conjure up any form of external negativity. It is simply a self-reflection exercise that will help you express pent-up emotions that are already within you, and guide you to move up the emotional scale.

The only tool you’ll need is a mirror. Mirror work was popularized by Louise Hay, as a powerful process for self-reflection. Louise suggests that when you look into your eyes you are forced to face your truth. The masks come off and you can no longer lie to yourself – everything comes to the surface. Although Louise Hay suggests using mirror work to do positive affirmations, my process is quite different.

1. I invite you to look into your eyes for ten minutes. It may sound fickle and simplistic, but it’s harder than it sounds. In the first few minutes your ego will mock the entire process, and you, urging you to give up. Eventually, its power will dissipate, its walls will crumble, and you’ll be able to access your soul. And then all hell will break loose.
2. The few minutes after you’ve cried your heart out, are the most important in moving up the emotional scale. Instead of ending the session feeling defeated, choose to see the positive side. Turn your strife into tenacity, find the blessing behind the obstacle, and literally talk yourself into a better-feeling-state. This will be surprisingly easy to do, because having cried the past negative emotion out, you’ve exhausted its power, and you’ll naturally gravitate towards a more positive one.

Use this exercise whenever you need to unload, and you’ll soon be crying your way to happiness.