I’ve always struggled with my weight. In primary school my classmates made fun of me for being the fat kid in the class, my PE teachers never picked me for any of the school’s sports teams, and my Tae Kwon Do trainer told me I was too fat to participate in the academy’s tournament. As a result, I went through most of my childhood and teenage years expecting to be rejected because of my weight.
At the age of 14, as part of my boot camp to change my sexuality and become “normal”, I put myself through a strict diet that brought me on the verge of anorexia. Ever since, my weight has been erratic, and with it my self-confidence.
Yet, recently I surprised myself when I realized that I no longer cared about my unstable weight. Having come back from my Easter holiday in Cyprus I noticed that I’d gained three kilos. In the past, when something like that happened I’d usually get obsessed with losing the extra weight and bringing myself back to my perceived perfect weight.
This time, I simply looked at myself in the mirror, I smiled, and said, and “Slim is not beautiful. Healthy is. You are sexy and handsome at every size!” and I went on with my day.
How I Made The Shift
At some point along my spiritual path I’d managed to change my belief about beauty. A Course in Miracles talks about the distinction between form – our body and personality, and content – our Divine Self. Somehow, I had managed to shift my perception of beauty away from form, and towards content.
By caring about, and nurturing my relationship with my Divine Self, I’ve been innately drawn to foods that support it. I’ve instinctively grown out of unhealthy foods and beverages, and replaced them with healthier choices.
As a result of letting my content fuel my form, I’ve completely changed the way I perceive it. My sense of self-love and self-worth no longer depend on the size of my body. Instead, I see my body as a sacred vehicle for my soul, a conduit through which my Divine Self can express itself and fulfill its purpose. Knowing that I respect, nurture, and honour my body with the food I choose to eat, I see it as beautiful and sexy no matter its size.
How You Can Make the Shift
The exact point in time I’d managed to shift my body perception is irrelevant. What is important is the process that I’ve used to do so, and this always came down to exercising my spiritual muscles.
As I mentioned in How to Deal With Relapse, the more you exercise your alignment with your Divine Self, the stronger it will be and the more dominant role it’ll play in your life. By nurturing your alignment with your Divine Self you rewire the core mechanism that controls your thinking, actions, and reactions to life. From that state of in-spiration you don’t need to search for the perfect diet or try to shift your body perception; you do these instinctively.
To learn how to exercising your spiritual muscles and build your spiritual practice, check out my article 5 Ways to Become More Spiritual.
What is your experience with your body weight and perception? Does your self-worth depend on your weight? Let me know in the comments below.