Every week Dawn Brierley and myself will be sharing with your our experiences with reading Robert Holden’s new book Loveability. Join us in a loving communion of spiritual unfolding and endless amounts of love.
Dawn: Seeing & Committed to Love
Dear Love Within,
I feel like I have actually matured this week – I’ve really grown up in terms of Love and I’m not simply talking about romantic love in its exclusivity. Something within me has shifted and all past dramas and false perceptions of what love really is have simply melted into the past, a distant memories of “the time when I thought love was…” the kind of memory you have of a younger version of you. I credit Loveability with helping me to grow.
Part 3 focuses on the theme that ‘Love has no conditions’. At first glance one can be forgiven for thinking that such a small statement simply pertains to meaning that for love to occur there has to be energy of no determined pressure in the object of what you desire to occur. But ‘Love has no conditions’ runs so much more deeply than that.
My own personal romance story, my romantic life has grown significantly this week in a direction that I’ve always dreamed of, one that I thought when it actually arrived I’d perhaps be filled with fear, yet all I feel is true happiness, love and joy. Contentment in the most pleasing way is a word I would use to sum up how I feel right now. I’ve truly learnt about the meaning of the word ‘Love’ and as I turn each page my growth expands considerably.
“When you love someone, you love the person as they are, and not as you’d like them to be” ~ Leo Tolstoy.
I’ve always had this joke amongst close friends and family that the reason I couldn’t find my Mr Right was because he was stuck up a tree somewhere 😀 Every New Year I have stood with my soul bare gazing at the brightest star in the sky and spoken to my Mr Right with a sheer knowingness that somewhere underneath the blanket of stars he was there, waiting until the time was right for us both to be joined. I would send him love, and tell him in the most sincere way that I was waiting for him, and I wouldn’t give up on us being aligned with each other once more. Even though I had no human knowledge of who he was, where he was or when he would arrive. Waiting for Mr Right can be a long or short period of time depending upon our own vibrations and soul lessons, but we can’t sit around waiting for him to ‘get out of the tree’. In truth I don’t believe that you have to FIND anyone, especially your Lover, your Mr/Miss Right because in the words of Rumi; “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”
That sums up rather well how I feel about my Mr H.P, I don’t feel like I can say that he found me or vice versa, we didn’t even find each other because we didn’t need to be found – we were there all along, deep within each other. We simply needed to show up for love for ourselves and then like a mist parting the ways, all became clear and finally we could see.
Robert Holden says in his book ‘I love you’ means ‘I see you’ and also ‘I accept you’. To love you have to be present to ‘see’ and ‘accept’. Your awareness sees that if I am present and you are present then love must be present, too.
I want to leave you with a passage from Loveability that expresses how I feel about my lover, my friends, my family, and you; my readers, my friends, my clients and my colleagues.
‘I love you’ is a way of saying ‘I am committed to you’ and ‘I am committed to us.’ You are telling that person you are in this relationship. You are not waiting for the relationship to sparkle or to improve before you commit to it. You are not playing it safe. You are not wearing a mask. You are not just trying to get something. You are really here, and this relationship really matters to you. ‘I love you’ is a statement of intent that ‘I am committed to loving you.’ And, as this is about being present, there is also another intention, which is ‘I am committed to being loved by you.’
George: When darkness turns to light.
As part of being on a spiritual path and running a spiritual blog, I made the commitment to be authentic towards myself and my readers, to face my fears, embrace my insecurities and allow myself to be vulnerable. So I’m not going to sugarcoat my romantic life and deceive you into believing that I’ve experienced some great long-term relationships, because I haven’t. In fact, the blunt truth about my love life is that it’s been non-existent. Just as everyone else I have my own insecurities, fears, past hurts and shadows and my sensitivity hasn’t been very conducive to helping me forgive and forget as fast as I wanted to. On the other hand, allowing myself to get all depressed and negative about the topic is not a choice either, for this will only prolong the current situation and prevent me from moving forward.
“You can only love someone as much as you are willing to love everyone. This is how true love works. Making someone your special love object, your holy cow, doesn’t create love; rather, it leads to dependency, possessiveness, jealousy, neurosis and ten thousand other forms of fear.”
You think you know everything about love (well at least in theory), when you suddenly read a book or quote that shocks you out of illusion and gives you an entire new perspective on what love really is. It is quotes like this that give me the relief and confidence I need to assure myself that all is well. That I’m not a weirdo or a freak of nature to have never been in an actual relationship before, but I’m simply going through a very unique and specific journey of experiences and circumstances that will prepare me for finding, not just a teenage lust or infatuation camouflaged under the label of love, but in Carrie Bradshaw’s infamous words, “real love, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”
Did you find yourself disagreeing with the above first quote? Good! That means it has stirred up your soul and challenged your inner establishment, letting you know that there’s something new for you to understand. The very basis of the quote and the key to finding true love according to Robert Holden is to simply be un-conditionally loving, not just towards a particular person but towards everyone. In Robert’s own words, “love is a way of being; it is not a thing to give away. Love is an attitude; it is not a currency you buy things with.” In other words, scolding your child, judging a friend or criticizing yourself, all because you “love them” has nothing to do with unconditional love. For at that particular moment you aren’t feeling the love, you are just using it as a pretext to satisfy certain conditions that your ego sees as prerequisites to love.
However, being unconditionally loving has nothing to do with being in love with every single person on the planet. It simply invites you to be at peace with the diversity of the world’s people, maintain a general attitude of kindness and compassion towards all, and most importantly, towards yourself. Only when you are in this pure state of bliss with the world and yourself can you attract true romantic love, for when you become love, you no longer need to idolize a lover or expect him/her to be your provider of love. From that place of un-conditional love you are aligned with the pure-positive, all-loving being that you really are and everything that comes your way is a direct reflection and extension of the love that you know you are.
Dawn Brierley believes in miracles and expects miracles, and is a Life Coach and CEO of Celestial Life Coaching which promotes the message of “Raise Your Standards and Make the Decision to Change your Life” whilst working with a metaphysical energy. She is an avid student of A Course in Miracles, loves Meditative Chanting, has become a lover of Yoga. She loves all books and believes in Universal Spirituality with her main practices being from Kabbalah, and Hinduism. She has just launched her Miracle Coaching Tree basic package for $60.