Bullying has defined most of my teenage years and has been the cause for innumerable lugubrious days filled with indignation and victimization, and this is probably the reason it’s taken me so long to write about it. Growing up as a gay teenager in a small and judgmental community, I am one of the many gay people to have been bullied at school. As a result of being discriminated by both society and myself, I was driven into a vicious circle of negativity that almost cost me my life.
Fortunately, all of life’s challenges hide a blessing that has the capacity to turn a seeming weakness into your most-valued strength. And so, the psychological dip I had endured, recoiled into a powerful shift in perception that gave me the opportunity to create an empowering future. In this article, I aim to divulge three powerful pieces of information that helped me deal with bullying and find inner peace with what I’d been through.
It’s not personal: For years I struggled to understand the source to bullies’ need to offend, criticize, and even physically hurt other people. As a teenager, I was never the person to purposely lambaste or comment negatively on anyone, and so I saw no rationality to people’s nasty behavior towards me. However, when I took a step back from my personal victimization and studied my bullies closely, I came to realize that, not only were they victims too, but they were also their own victimizers. Bullying always arises from a feeling of inadequacy, unworthiness and the belief that “I am not loveable.” Therefore, the bullies are in a constant battle with themselves, and berating other people is their way of assuring their worthiness.
You are also a bully: …to yourself! It feels really good to blame other people for all our misery, and it takes courage and tough love to admit that we also bully ourselves. The Law of Attraction always matches us up with people and experiences that resonate with what we believe to be true about ourselves. In my case, despite being bullied at school, I was also going through an even worse kind of bullying within, since I refused to accept my sexuality and criticized myself for being different from everyone else. As a result, the Law of Attraction made certain to orchestrate rendezvous with people and circumstances that confirmed what I believed about myself.
Forgiveness: I see forgiveness as the difference between fear and love. It is like a magical potion that I apply to every single negative circumstance, and it never fails to reward me with the gift of inner peace. All that it took for me to release the resentment I held for my bullies, and most importantly, for myself, was the willingness to forgive. Forgiveness has nothing to do with condoning an action, but it simply invites you to soften a situation through the realization that at the core of every person, including yourself, lies nothing less than love. Furthermore, forgiveness is not something you give to another person, but it is something you give to yourself so that you can take your power back and not let your well being be determined by anyone else’s actions.
With this in mind, I urge you to be brave enough to forgive yourself for being unaware of your brilliance, worthiness and perfection, and forgive your bullies for being unaware of theirs, so that they had to prove it by berating you. Be brave enough to rise above your ego’s need to keep blaming, and take back your power by taking responsibility for being the sole creator of your life’s experience. Doing so will liberate you and empower you to see the hidden blessing behind your bullying: The blessing of having gone through the bad and the ugly and survived it all; which has made you a stronger individual and has given you the capacity to deal with whatever life has in store for you. Most importantly, you now have the blessing to be strong enough and empowered enough to guide others who are going through a similar situation, and lead them to empowerment too.